Two Years in Two Weeks

Hello faithful family, friends, and followers, we are closing in on the second anniversary of the accident, something that, I have to admit, is approaching with more emotional intensity than I had anticipated. Last year, as we came to the first anniversary, we were at a major inflection point. It certainly had a wealth of emotions but they were generally focused on the thankfulness and gratitude of Joy’s remarkable and hard fought recovery through that year and the anticipation of a new life, in a new home, but with many details still to be finalized.

That first year had literally rapid fire miracles. Joy’s life snatched from the jaws of death, her remarkable tenaciousness in fighting to recover all she could physically and cognitively. Learning to move, to swallow, to speak, learning her alphabet, numbers, her name, my name, our children’s and grandchildren’s names, her birthdate, her phone number, our address. Walking, with a walker, to the bathroom in the hospital room, down the hall in the hospital, down longer halls, taking those first stair steps, then with the walker a tenth of a mile, two tenths, then without the walker, a quarter mile, a half, one mile and more…

But this past year has been quite different, gains, when they do happen, come very slowly, and we have also had to work through grieving those things that appear to be permanent losses. At the same time we thank and praise God for all that’s been achieved which has proven, “exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think.” Eph 3:20 This second year of our “new normal” has come with its share of adjustments. However, even with limitations, even with permanent losses, one thing has stood out so strongly to me and that is, for both Joy and I, our sense of purpose in the new life we now have. A sense of God’s hand upon us, providing and guiding with an assurance that, “I know the One in whom I trust, and I am sure that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until the day of His return.” 2 Tim 1:12

The importance and value of this assurance and knowing life has purpose was reinforced for me when I recently read Donald Miller’s reflections on Viktor Frankl, best known for his book Man’s Search for Meaning. Miller writes:

Frankl was a Viennese personality theorist and Holocaust survivor, alive during the time of Freud. What differentiated them, though, was Freud posited one of the primary desires of man was for pleasure, that he got up every morning and sought a comfortable or enjoyable life.

Frankl contended with him, saying what man really wanted was a deep experience of meaning. Man woke up wanting to feel a sense of gratitude for the experience they were having, a sense of purpose and mission and belonging. Frankl went on to say it wasn’t pleasure mankind was looking for, that men only sought pleasure when they couldn’t find meaning. If a man has no sense of meaning, Frankl argued, he will numb himself with pleasure.

Frankl theorized a sense of meaning was existential, that it was something that passed through us not unlike the recognition of beauty or a feeling of gratitude. And he believed life could be structured in such a way people would experience meaning. His prescription to experience a deep sense of meaning, then, was remarkably pragmatic. He had three recommendations:

1. Have a project to work on, some reason to get out of bed in the morning and preferably something that serves other people.

2. Have a redemptive perspective on life’s challenges. That is, when something difficult happens, recognize the ways that difficulty also serves you.

3. Share your life with a person or people who love you unconditionally.

The Psalms portion of our Bible reading this week included Psalm 30, the theme of which you’ll recognize from my frequently quoting of Henri Nouwen, but which also so vividly captures Joy’s/our journey from near death to rich albeit different life and also perfectly fits with Frankl’s second point above, “Have a redemptive perspective on life’s challenges. That is, when something difficult happens, recognize the ways that difficulty also serves you.”

So we’ll leave you this week with these words of pain and praise from Psalm 30:

I will exalt you, LORD, for you rescued me…

O LORD my God, I cried to you for help,

and you restored my health.

You brought me up from the grave, O LORD.

You kept me from falling into the pit of death.

Sing to the LORD, all you godly ones!

Praise his holy name.

For his anger lasts only a moment,

but his favor lasts a lifetime!

Weeping may last through the night,

but joy comes with the morning…

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.

You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,

that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.

O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever!