Listen to Your Life
Hello faithful family, friends, and followers and welcome. Of all that happened this past week, the most impactful times for me were, occasions where we reflected on the past, without it being focused on, or at least not solely on, past pain. It began with Joy asking me several questions about the past, a "filling in the blanks," if you will. We have shared before that we are so very thankful for all that Joy does remember from the past, but still, there are gaps, which I am more than happy to help fill. It struck me though, that it felt like a “new” place to be in our, “new normal.” A place where the past could be approached in relative safety without focusing on pain over the accident or the parts of our past life which were lost as a result of it. That we could share warm memories and express gratitude and appreciation for the past in ways we hadn’t since that fateful day. It reminded me of a favorite Frederick Buechner insight when he writes:
I am inclined to believe that God’s chief purpose in giving us memory is to enable us to go back in time so that if we didn’t play those roles right the first time round, we can still have another go at it now. We cannot undo our old mistakes or their consequences any more than we can erase old wounds that we have both suffered and inflicted, but through the power that memory gives us of thinking, feeling, imagining our way back through time, we can at long last finally finish with the past in the sense of removing its power to hurt us and other people and to stunt our growth as human beings.
The sad things that happened long ago will always remain part of who we are just as the glad and gracious things will too, but instead of being a burden of guilt, recrimination, and regret that make us constantly stumble as we go, even the saddest things can become, once we have made peace with them, a source of wisdom and strength for the journey that still lies ahead.
It is through memory that we are able to reclaim much of our lives that we have long since written off by finding that in everything that has happened to us over the years God was offering us possibilities of new life and healing which, though we may have missed them at the time, we can still choose and be brought to life by and healed by all these years later.
The passage above has been familiar to me for some time, but as I was searching for it, I came across another Buechner quote that was new to me and touched me/us in a profound way by how real it felt for our life and situation, he writes:
If by some magic you could eliminate the pain you are caused by the pain of someone you love, I for one cannot imagine working such magic because the pain is so much a part of the love that the love would be vastly diminished, unrecognizable, without it. To suffer in love for another’s suffering is to live life not only at its fullest but at its holiest.
This is not an easy thought, but it rings so very true for us and for me it reinforces one of Buechner’s best known quotes which is:
Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery it is. In the boredom and pain of it, no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.
Now while listening to our life characterized the week for Joy and I, it was also a week where several loved ones continued to experience physical and/or emotional pain and suffering. So I offer the following verses from Psalm 40 which I hope and pray can be a comfort not only for those in our immediate circle, but also for you and those you love.
I waited patiently for the LORD to help me,
and he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the LORD.
Oh, the joys of those who trust the LORD…
O LORD my God, you have performed many wonders for us.
Your plans for us are too numerous to list…
If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds,
I would never come to the end of them…
LORD, don’t hold back your tender mercies from me.
Let your unfailing love and faithfulness always protect me.
For troubles surround me—too many to count…
Please, LORD, rescue me!
Come quickly, LORD, and help me…
May all who search for you
be filled with joy and gladness in you.
May those who love your salvation
repeatedly shout, “The LORD is great!”
As for me, since I am poor and needy,
let the Lord keep me in his thoughts.
You are my helper and my savior.
O my God, do not delay.
King David’s passionate words, were for his life and time, a tribute and call to God’s faithfulness, provision, and protection, but are oh so relevant to our present reality. May the psalmist’s words lived out in our daily experience, also be real in your life today and in the days ahead.
